Execution Hedgehog, The Anarchist

The goblins are howling again, so here’s another post about my time in Berlin.

**Original date: July 9, 2013

It was about one in the morning and I was on the train back to my host mom’s apartment. I had the entire car to myself, so I decided to stretch out. I put my feet on the seat across from me and sat comfortably for about two stops, listening to music and looking out the window (I loved watching the city whiz by on the S-Bahn, which is above ground).

Then, two men in security guard uniforms got on the train. I looked over at them, mostly because I couldn’t remember how to say security guard in German and hoped it would be written somewhere on their uniforms. One of them noticed me and, with a very stern expression on his face, he pointed at me.

He didn’t say a word. He just pointed.

I stared at him for about five seconds. Did I do something wrong? He didn’t say anything. He just stared back at me over his pale, unwavering finger as if he had caught me commiting a crime. In Germany they have random ticket inspections on the trains, so I decided that maybe he wanted to see my train ticket. I opened my purse and started to get the ticket out of my wallet. I glanced back at him as I did this and he actually shook his finger at me.

Ok, maybe he didn’t want to see my train ticket. I was very confused.

I closed my purse and we stared at each other again. I was painfully aware of how quiet it was.

Then, as the train started to move, the guard said, “Get your feet off that chair and sit like a lady. Other people might want to sit down, too.” He was tall, definitely above six feet, and he had a deep, booming voice that was amplified by the emptiness of the train car. Also, he said it in German, which made it terrifying.

I took my feet off the chair and looked around. The only other people on the train were the two security guards, who were still standing in front of the door. This is the opposite of sitting down.

The next two minutes were probably the most silent, uncomfortable two minutes of my entire month in Germany. He kept glaring at me, as if to punish me for daring to take up space on his crowded S-Bahn car. They got off at the next stop, which explains why they didn’t bother to sit down.

Once again I had the entire car to myself. I breathed a sigh of relief. Ok, I thought. The scary German man is gone now.

I put my feet back on the chair.

This entry was posted in Living in Germany and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Execution Hedgehog, The Anarchist

  1. Blu says:

    Ahaa! That’s hilarious, and frightening. I would have wanted to hide under the seat, I swearsies. As usual, I love the way you word things. Makes things so funny ❤ YOU ARE FUNNY.

  2. TrojanMan says:

    Haha ich hab gehört, dass das eigentlich strafbar in Deutschland ist. Gott sei Dank du hast kein Straf bekommen, nicht wahr??

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